For the longest time I've been praying. Literally, years. For God to show me what it is EXACTLY He wanted for me to do. For years, He has been saying to my heart, not yet, but it's coming. For years, I've been holding on to that. Near the beginning of December, He did an extraordinary thing to my heart. I always long to "hear Him". On this day, it was loud and clear.
I was at a day long seminar with Roxie Elliott, when I felt I "heard His voice". Telling me that my job was to "Equip the saints" as it says in scripture. Get out of my cave, and equip the saints. My startled response was "I can't do that, I'm not smart enough", to which "He replied", "You've been asking me for years and now I tell you, and you say you can't do it? What is it that you want?' Ouch. Since my heart is for obedience and holiness, I realized I better get with HIS program. Something in my heart changed that day. It's not who I think I am, it's who HE thinks I am. It's not what I think I can do, it's what HE thinks I can do. It's not even IF I can do it, it's if HE can do it. It's not what I want to do, it's what HE wants me to do. Since that day, I can honestly say that I can feel His Holy Spirit stirring on the inside of me like never before. There is a Holy Boldness, if you will, there, growing inside. Time to "unleash" that relentless love that our church speaks of, to my broken world.